this made me smile

"Sometimes when I reflect back on all the wine I drink, I feel shame. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the vineyards and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this wine, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, 'It is better that I drink this wine and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver'."

~Jack Handy

...So happy 2 of the 3 winter holidays are done with (excluding Valentine's Day in this category). Just have to push through NYE. Accepting it more and more as it gets closer to the day that I a) Don't have a date. 2) Don't have plans (could have paid $60 or more for a party that Sara is going to but I would have been the 5th wheel regardless). c) There's a good chance it'll rain that night, freezing me in my minidress and frizzifying my hair. and 4) Not going out and risking getting a DUI because I had 2 drinks (although that's highly unlikely) and got pulled over and failed my field sobriety and breatalyzer tests.

New year, new attitude - try to battle this temporary depression. Check out Barry's Bootcamp and see if it's worth paying $100 for 5 classes. Possibly discover pole dancing fitness (same price as Barry's rates). Check out women friendly meetup.com groups because let's face it - I'm not hanging out with people from work anytime soon, I have few girlfriends locally (less than I can count on one hand), so this will hopefully encourage me to go out and make a new set of girlfriends. If I meet men, cool, but the whole point is to begin new relationships with women so I can have those special bonds that only exist between women on a friendship level.

imminent love fate

I don't know why I even bother looking anymore. I'm 2 1/2 years out of a serious relationship with many short interests in between my last and today. And I've finally come to realize, after all the searching, and first dating, and trying hard, and compromising myself to make that great first impression....all the searching through online dating (Yahoo Personals, OKCupid, Match.com, Adult Friend Finder, PlentyofFish, and even Craigslist), I'm done. I can't do it anymore. I'm exhausted. I've been doing this for over two years and not ONE has been a success long term. There really is NO guy in San Diego that's a match for me. A little part of me wishes I'd realized this before I bought a house.