do i want to remember this?

A couple nights ago, I had ANOTHER dream. This time, we had just broke up, and him and her were moving in together, all the while I was over at their new place. They would kiss in front of me like it was no big deal but at the same time it seemed a bit vindictive for them to do so. I finally left, crying, because I would never get him back. When I got to the intersection (I was walking home), I saw a dead cat - it was my cat. I became hysterical and frantically called him to come help me. They both showed up shortly after that, and then the dream ended.

Also...two nights ago, I met up with Molly and Veronica at Jillian's for a couple drinks. It was fun, but then I purposely became melodramatic when the song "I'll Follow You Into The Dark" by Death Cab for Cutie came on, because it reminded me of Dudley. I really didn't want to melodramatic but more so wanted to make a statement I suppose. On the drive home from there, I called him and left a message - why oh why did I do it? I blabbed on how I hoped he was okay, and that maybe us breaking up was a mistake, and I really believed we were meant to be together, and that I hope he calls/visits when he's back in town for Christmas. I won't know how to explain myself when/if he questions my message. I guess just laugh it off and admit that the sober life is not for me....not yet, anyway. :)