no escape

Even after he leaves, I STILL have nightmares about him cheating on me!!!

I was driving by the neighborhood I went to high school in. I saw him walking with friends that he went to school with - they were all wearing tan slacks and white polos. I told myself I wouldn't drive by to "spy" on him, but I couldn't help myself. I drove by hoping he'd recognize my car, but I don't remember what happened after that.

Somewhere in the dream he cheated on me with this girl I used to be friends with in grade school, who I'm sure is now a lesbian - she even looks like a total dyke! But then I told him I never wanted to see him again. Later on, a friend I was with found them MAKING OUT in MY BEDROOM when we stopped by my apartment for a couple minutes! I couldn't believe the nerve they had! I didn't notice until later that the girl he cheated on me with was wearing my orange running shorts, and he was wearing something of mine as well.

Why do I keep having these dreams of him cheating on me? We've been broken up for a couple of months now, and the damage of him really cheating on me has been done...so why do these dreams still haunt me? What does it all mean? I'll have to research this. I'm thinking it probably means that I'm not over him or still love him or something, because, yes, it's all true.


I went back to match.com on impulse. I'm thinking I might sign up for 3-6 months or something. I'd like to meet people and start dating again. Hopefully Brooke and I go out sometime to dance or whatever and meet people as well.
Now I'll go analyze my dreams...