It actually went the way I wanted it to.
I went on an 8 mile run yesterday, the farthest I've ever run in one session. The whole time I got to think about this big mess I've put myself in. In the end, I decided it was all so silly, and that I'm just going to laugh at myself in the end about all my behavior and how I put myself through all this useless stress. But hey, it's a way to deal with it, and it sucks, but there's no other way I know how to deal with it. I'm going to hurt and only time can heal.
Anyways, I wanted to share some positive thoughts with him yesterday and called him, but reached his voicemail. I knew he was working, but that maybe he didn't answer because I had delivered some harsh words only a few hours ago. He called back a couple hours later but I had gone to bed.
I didn't count on him to call me back today, so I called him and shared my thoughts:
I'm very proud of him for taking this big step in his life, as well as taking responsibility for himself. He's picking a direction. Some people at this age have no idea what they want to do with their life, I'm lucky I figured it out at 22. He may have not figured it out at 25, but he's doing something about it to help himself out at 25. Some people still don't do that. I support him 100% and have his back, I will be there for him. Even though the phone calls may be few and far in between, they will still be made and I will still hear from him. I won't call him, he'll have to call me. I'm sure they don't allow cell phones in military barracks.
I'm healing.
Alisa and I made dinner tonight. Fried eggplant with mozzarella and marinara and steamed asparagus and carrot cake rice cream. I haven't eaten that much but I didn't run today. I will run tomorrow.
I'm healing.