Ever had one of "those" kinds of days?
I just did today.
I can't pinpoint a time in my life where I've felt more stress, anxiety, and overwhelmed in one day.
Sometimes 8 hours in a workday is not enough. I'm the kind of worker bee that works efficiently and quickly - I'm good at my job. I'm well-trained and pass that knowledge and ethic onto my other worker bees. I influence others around me to care about their job and have fun at work. However, today, I could have put in a twelve hour day and still not get it all done.
I got to train with management again, and was more comfortable with doing the morning manifest paperwork. I just needed a "babysitter" nearby in case I had any questions and wanted to confirm that what I was doing was the correct way to do it. I managed to handle it all and finish it in two hours, just like last time. However, I still had to take my break (thank God), write two orders, and do two hours of register. I had three hours to do this.
Before I took my break, I had to stick around to finish the paperwork, when I was just so antsy that it showed in my face and my attitude. I was at a point where I had enough of the training. You can't throw it all on me in one session because then I'll become super frustrated. I already am super frustrated because I have to be fully trained within the next 13 days. Less than two weeks. September 3rd. I don't know, folks.
After my break, I did one hour of register and prayed that my next hour of register I wouldn't have to be on it. I only had to be on it for about ten minutes, but I felt pressed for time. I got my first order written and punched, and had time to write and punch my second order. I even had enough time to sit down and talk with one of my training mentors. While I waited for him, I took time to sit down and calm down. My breathing had become irregular at that point and my chest felt tight. I started to shake a bit. Finally, my mentor came in. He had been gone for a week and wanted to catch up on my training, and we reviewed what else I would be going over for the rest of the week, and what I would be touching upon next week.
I was finally done with work for the day, and clocked out. I decided to hang out in the breakroom for a bit and try to relax and calm down. I still had to go to the gym and workout, but my heart wasn't in it. I was feeling so stressed that maybe a day off wouldn't hurt me too much. I left about twenty minutes later and decided to head to the bookstore to get some new reading material. I've read "I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell" about three times now and need something refreshing. I also had to see Dudley, so I called him to meet me there.
I still couldn't stop shaking or get my breathing rate normalized. He helped me pick out two new books but seemed genuinely concerned about my health at that moment. I walked him back to work when I started to dig through my pocket for my keys - THEY WEREN'T THERE. I panicked and nearly lost it. I got to my car and saw my keys sitting right there on the driver's seat. I walked back up to Dudley by the door to work and let some tears spill. This much stress on a 22 year old is not healthy whatsoever.
I went inside and grabbed a phonebook to look for a locksmith. Gary offered me his AAA card so I can get my keys retrieved for free instead of paying a $100 fine. I thought I'd call my Dad first and see if he had the spare keys to my car. He came by work with two different sets (because my mother has a Mustang too) and the first one we tried WORKED. Before he came by I prayed to God that my Dad would have the spare set. Thank you, God, so much.
I decided to not work out at all today. Usually exercise helps relieve stress, but since I'm stressed about keeping up on my training for the half marathon, today's workout may have not helped my situation much.
I hope I'll be okay tomorrow. I'm not sure if I should go out with Amy, like I suggested to her last week. Maybe I'll send her a text. Tomorrow, I just want to try and take it easy at work, go to the gym next door and run and strength train for a bit, come home, and maybe, just maybe, Dudley will still want to come over after he gets off work. I'll even make him a simple late-night diner-style dinner. That sounds kinda fun- cheeseburger or patty-melt and french fries. It's possible.
Speaking of Dudley......I sent him an email last night. It was a heartfelt, deep letter detailing my fears and expressing my true love for him. His response? "I MISS YOU ALREADY. Love Dudley." Boys will be boys, but the response was sorta cute to say the least.
I still don't know how the next month is going to go...

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